The Consequences of Sin Page 16

  I shook my head. “I’m not. You’re good at what you do.”

  “I suppose you would know,” he mused.

  I refused to look at him as images of him both on stage and in bed flashed through my mind. My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as I tried to control my breathing. The lust flooding my veins was all I could think about. I pictured the way his skin had felt as I dug my nails into it, and I could hear the sound of his breath in my ear as his thrusts had increased when he was close.

  “You okay over there, Bree? You look a little flushed.”

  I could hear the amusement in his tone.

  “I’m fine,” I said shortly.

  “You sure?” he taunted.

  I took a deep breath. “Actually, I’m not. I’m debating on whether or not it’d be worth the trouble to pull this car over on the side of the highway and climb onto your lap. If you tried to fight me, I’d be more than happy to pull my gun on you.”

  Did I really just say that? I wanted to die as soon as the words had left my mouth.

  I’d expected Reid to have a smart comeback, but instead, he was silent.

  I glanced over to see him watching me. “What?” I demanded.

  He finally grinned. “You’d really pull your gun on me?”

  “In a heartbeat.”

  “I’m not sure I feel safe around you right now then,” he said with a straight face. “My innocence is in danger.”

  I snorted. “Like you were ever innocent. The way you…” I trailed off. “Never mind.”

  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Why don’t we change the subject to something…safer?”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “Will you tell me about your life in London?” he asked, his voice unsure.

  I knew what he was really asking.

  “Would you like to know everything or just what you think you can handle?”

  He hesitated for a moment before answering, “All of it.”

  I nodded. “All right then. Let’s see…well, I lived in a mansion. It was more of a headquarters than anything though. Most of Nico’s men stayed at the house full-time, as did my father, Wes, and me. It was a few miles outside of London, but it was close enough that we could get into the city anytime we needed. The lower portion of the mansion was used for dining and training. Also, the servants’ quarters were all on the first floor.”

  “Servants?” Reid asked.

  “Yeah, we had maids and cooks. Wes and I each had a nanny while growing up as well.”

  Reid whistled. “I can’t even imagine living like that.”

  I shrugged. “Having servants at your beck and call is amazing until you realize the price you’re paying to have them there. But, anyway, I spent my childhood in that mansion and on the grounds surrounding it. Wes and I trained with Nico’s men daily. Our nannies would teach us things like math and writing. We weren’t ignorant to the rest of the world, but we were never a part of it. They taught us enough to function in the outside world, but that was it.”

  “So, that’s how you know how to handle money and find an apartment,” Reid said.

  I nodded. “Yes, I didn’t come to Dallas completely lost. I knew enough to get by.”

  “You said that you spent most of your time training?”

  “Yeah. We spent every day learning and fighting. I can shoot, fight, and throw knives better than most men. We were also trained in stealth and other areas that we would need while out on jobs.”

  He shook his head. “Basically, a school for assassins.”

  I nodded. “That was exactly what it was, but withdrawing was not an option.”

  “And the jobs? How many did you take?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

  I sighed. “More than I care to think about. But I did what I had to do to stay alive. The men and women I killed were mostly bad. They had to be if they were mixed up with my father and Nico. Yeah, a few were relatively innocent, but it was them or me, and I chose me.”

  “What does it feel like?”

  “What does what feel like?”

  “Killing someone. Taking a life.”

  I didn’t miss the way his voice trembled as he spoke. Hearing this had to be fucking him up inside.

  “It feels like…it’s like time stands still for a split second before you pull the trigger or pull your knife. Then, time speeds up. It goes so fast that you can’t think. You just do.”

  “But how does it make you feel?”

  “Like I’m dead inside,” I whispered. “Every time I took a life, I felt hollower and hollower inside. It’s like they each took a piece of me with them. I’m not sure how many pieces I have left to give, Reid. Wes handled our lifestyle so much better than I did. He would kill for me because he knew how much it would rip me up inside. He protected me because he thought he had to. Because of that, he has even more blood on his hands than he should. I hate that I did that to him. If I had been strong enough to do what needed to be done every time, he wouldn’t have all those sins on his shoulders.”

  “There’s always consequences of sin, Bree—always. You’re dealing with yours now, and Wes will eventually have to deal with his.”

  “Sin,” I said, fighting the tears that had appeared out of nowhere. “I’m nothing but my sins now, Reid.”

  We were both silent for a long time after that.

  My mind was raging a war against my soul. I tried to justify the things I’d done over the years, reminding myself that if I hadn’t, I would have been the one with a bullet between my eyes. That made me a coward. I should’ve just died a long time ago. Now, I’d left so much destruction behind me that I was as bad as my father. He might have been the one pulling the strings, but I was the one who had pulled the trigger over and over again.

  “There was a job one time that I’ll never forget. My father figured out that Wes had been doing the jobs for me, so he put me with Anthony. He knew Anthony would make sure I did what needed to be done, or he’d handle me himself.”

  I stopped speaking for a moment when my throat clogged with emotion.

  “The target was the husband, but we knew the rules. If anyone was with him, that person would have to die, too. We never left anyone behind who might be able to identify us. We were waiting for him at his house. We thought his wife and daughter were out of town.”

  “Oh fuck,” Reid mumbled.

  I ignored him as I continued to speak, “I was downstairs, near the front door, and Anthony was upstairs. He wanted me to be the one to do it, but in case I couldn’t, he was waiting. When they came home and saw me—goddamn it!” I hit the steering wheel as tears poured down my face.

  “The wife screamed the moment she saw me. I shot her first to shut her up. I hadn’t even thought about it. I’d just pulled the trigger. I turned the gun on my actual target and shot him. Then, I aimed at their daughter. She couldn’t have been older than ten. She didn’t cry or beg. She just stood there and looked at me. She knew she was going to die, but she didn’t try to save herself.”

  “You killed an innocent child?” Reid asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I couldn’t do it. I hid her in the coat closet before Anthony came downstairs. I knew that she could identify me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to kill her.”

  Reid’s entire body sagged with relief. “You did the right thing, Bree.”

  “I thought so at the time, but I’m not so sure now.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I followed the news story online after the bodies were found. The little girl never turned me in. As far as I know, she’s never spoken again. She was placed in a mental health facility less than a month after I’d shoved her in that closet. I killed both of her parents in cold blood right in front of her, Reid. I fucking destroyed her.”

  He didn’t respond to that. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else either.

  What could either of us really say after I’d admitted something like that?

  Reid
wanted to know about my life before I’d come to Dallas. Now, he knew. He was sitting in a car with a cold-blooded killer, a monster.

  Yeah, I was finally facing the consequences of my sins.

  The rest of the car ride was relatively silent. Reid would help me navigate, and we’d spoken a few words back and forth, but that was it. The weight of our earlier conversation filled the car. It pressed down on my shoulders, making me want to disappear into my seat.

  I didn’t want Reid to see me the way I used to be. I wanted him to want me, but it wouldn’t be fair if I withheld anything from him. He needed to make his own decisions, and he couldn’t do that if he didn’t know the truth about me.

  I was just terrified that my past would cost me everything. It would cost me Reid.

  “We’ll need to stop and get supplies before we go to the cabin,” Reid said when we were no more than half an hour away from our destination.

  I nodded. “I’ll pull off when we’re almost there. We’ll find a grocery store.”

  “How long do you think we’ll be at the cabin?”

  I shrugged. “I have no idea. We just have to sit tight until Wes finds a way to contact me. Then, we’ll go from there.”

  “We’re hiding from Wes and your father. What if he can’t find you?”

  I smiled. “Wes is…Wes. He’ll find me. It’s what he does. Wes can track people down better than anyone else I’ve ever seen. My father used him for that as much as he put him on jobs with me.”

  Reid shook his head. “I can’t believe your best friend is hunting us like animals.”

  I frowned. “He’s not going to hurt us when he finds us. He’s trying to come up with a plan to get us out of this mess.”

  “Bree, I…” He hesitated. “I’ve spent a lot of time with you. When I met you, I never thought you would be capable of some of the things you’ve done. You’re one of the kindest women I’ve ever met, yet you’ve killed to protect yourself. You chose to live at the cost of others.”

  “And your point?” I demanded.

  “Is Wes all that different from you? If it comes down to you or him, do you really think he’ll choose you?”

  I looked away. He didn’t understand the bond Wesley and I had. I would die for him, and I knew he would die for me—at least, that was how it had been before. Now that things had started to change between us, I wasn’t sure what to expect from him anymore. Wesley had always been my rock. The thought of him turning his back on me made me want to run my fist through the windshield.

  I saw Walmart was just off of the next exit, so I quickly switched lanes and got off the interstate without saying a word to Reid. Nothing I could say would comfort him. He must have taken my silence as an indication that the conversation was over. He turned away and looked out his window as we pulled into the parking lot.

  “Wait out here with the car, so I don’t have to shut it off. I’ll grab us some food and a few other things. Do you want anything?” I asked as I parked the car.

  “A new life would be great,” Reid said without turning away from his window.

  “I’ll see if they have any left,” I said sarcastically before climbing out of the car.

  He began mumbling something back, but I didn’t stick around to hear whatever it was. Obviously, our conversation had put Reid back into defensive mode. Hopefully, he’d pull himself out of his funk while I was shopping. It was doubtful, but I could dream.

  I walked into the superstore and grabbed a cart. Out of habit, I scanned the crowds of people checking out and the ones standing nearby. My nerves were shot, and I felt the need to be extra careful, especially while being this close to where we would be hiding.

  I hurried into the store and started adding items that I knew we could use. I didn’t want to get a bunch in case we would have to leave quickly. I also wasn’t sure if the cabin would have a stove or microwave, so I only grabbed foods that were easy to make. After getting a package of bottled waters, I headed over to the toilet paper aisle and grabbed a few packs. There was nothing like the lack of toilet paper to make someone squirm.

  I headed back up to the front and got in line. As I started throwing our things up on the counter, I spotted the candy next to the register. Reid loved Snickers, so I grabbed two and put them with the other things. Maybe candy would make him happy. It was doubtful, but at least I could say I tried.

  Once everything was paid for, I walked back out to the car. Reid watched me with a blank expression as I approached. When I opened the trunk, he climbed out and helped me toss the bags into the back.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  He took the cart from me and put it in the return spot. At least he was being semi-nice.

  When we were both back in the car, I tossed him the Snickers bars.

  He grinned slightly. “Thanks.”

  I nodded as I backed out of our spot and headed for the exit. It didn’t take us long to hit the interstate again.

  “Where do we need to go from here?” I asked.

  He frowned. “It’s been a while since I was out here, but I think we take the exit after this one. Don’t get pissy if I lead you the wrong way once or twice.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not like we have to be there at a certain time. I’m just glad you thought of this place.”

  “Me, too. Never thought those trips out here would end up paying off.”

  With the exception of Reid giving me directions, we didn’t talk after that. I fought to hide a grin as he cursed every time he realized he’d sent me the wrong way. Finally, half an hour later, he managed to get me to the gravel road leading to the cabin.

  As I maneuvered the SUV down the road, it became obvious that no one had been down this road in a while. The brush and trees were slowly starting to reclaim the road, pushing in from both sides. I winced as the limbs brushed against the sides of the car. It sounded like nails running down a chalkboard.

  The road was filled with ruts, some deep enough that a car might drag. As I was forced to kick in the four-wheel drive to make it up a hill, I sent up a silent thank-you that we’d stolen a SUV instead of a car. We would have had to ditch a car and carry everything.

  My whole body relaxed when I saw a small cabin at the top of the hill. I parked next to the front door and shut the car off.

  “So, this is it?” I asked as I looked at the cabin.

  “Yeah. It’s a little shabbier than I remember,” he admitted.

  I shrugged. “It has a roof and hopefully a toilet. That’s all I’m worried about.”

  Truthfully, the cabin wasn’t that bad. It definitely needed some work, but it wasn’t falling apart. The outside of the cabin was made of logs. A tiny one-step porch led to a plain wooden front door. There were no windows in the front. That was good. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any at all. It would make it impossible for my father to watch us if he managed to track me down, but it would also make it impossible for me to keep an eye on the outside of the house.

  I bit my lip. We were in the middle of nowhere. Wesley was an amazing tracker, but I wasn’t sure if even he could find me out here. If he didn’t, we would be okay for a while—until our cash ran out. I dreaded the thought of using our credit cards. I’d rather rob a bank than do that. There’d be less chance of getting caught.

  “Let’s check out the inside,” Reid said as he opened his door and climbed out.

  “Reid?” I called.

  “Yeah?”

  “Take your gun with you. From now on, I want it within a foot of you at all times—when you shower, when you pee, when you’re tying your shoes. I don’t care what you’re doing. It could make the difference between surviving and dying.”

  “Well, aren’t you fucking cheerful?” Reid grumbled as he opened the glove box and grabbed the gun I’d given him earlier.

  “I will protect you, but it makes me feel better to know that you can also protect yourself,” I said.

  Reid nodded, and then we climbed out of the car and headed toward the cabin.r />
  We stepped up onto the porch. He reached above the door and grabbed a key.

  “And here I was prepared to break in,” I teased.

  He slid the key into the lock and smirked. “Sorry to disappoint. I know you love using your ninja skills.”

  I laughed as the door swung open. I wasn’t sure what to think about Reid. One minute, he would seem like his old self. The next, I’d say something that would set him off, and he’d clam up like I was his greatest enemy.

  Reid stepped in and flipped on the light switch. Nothing happened.

  “No power,” he pointed out the obvious.

  “It’s probably shut off at the box,” I said.

  I turned and walked back outside. I hoped that was all it was. If power were no longer running to the house, we would be screwed. I could handle a meter box. I wasn’t about to try to climb a power pole to see if I could figure out how to turn it on there. Getting electrocuted in the middle of nowhere wasn’t at the top of my to-do list.

  I walked around the side of the house. My eyes zeroed in on the meter box. I hurried over and inspected it. There was a lock on it.

  “Reid?” I yelled.

  “Yeah?”

  “I need bolt cutters or something as strong. Do you know if there’s anything like that around here?”

  “He has an old shed out back. Let me see what I can find,” Reid said as he appeared from the front of the house.

  I watched as he walked past me and disappeared again. I studied my surroundings as I waited. There was absolutely nothing around here. The land was sparsely decorated with trees and a few small shrubs, nothing like the jungle that went along the driveway. Someone had obviously kept the land up here clean.

  Farther out, I could see the beginnings of a forest. Since this was a hunting retreat cabin, I assumed that was where people would go hunt. I supposed that if all else failed, I’d make Reid hunt for food. I snorted at the thought. It was that ridiculous.