Toxic: Logan's Story Read online

  “I’ve noticed,” I growled as I clenched my hands into fists. “If I had known she was sleeping with you and me at the same time, I would have—”

  “You would have what? Left her? Told her you hated her? Called her a slut?” he asked.

  “I don’t know what I would have done, okay? I’ve spent most of my teenage years in love with her. I don’t know what to do.”

  He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “This is so fucked-up! I actually care about a girl, and she’s with someone else.”

  “We have to let her choose. That’s all we can do,” I said.

  He looked up at me and smirked. “And the loser does what? Walks away and pretends that none of this happened?”

  “I guess so. What other choice do we have?”

  “I can’t just walk away from her, Logan.”

  “You have to. And if she chooses you”—I took a deep breath—“I’ll have to walk away. We’re ripping her apart.”

  “You’re right.” Drake stood and kicked the chair he’d just been sitting in. “Why the fuck can’t I let her go?”

  “For the same reason I can’t—you love her. Chloe is special.”

  He smiled, the first one I’d seen all night. “Yeah, she is.”

  I frowned as he stared off into space with that damn smile on his face. He pulled out his phone and started typing on it.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Texting her to see if she’s okay. She was really upset when she left the bar.”

  “So, what do you want to do? Go talk to her now? Or wait until she calms down?” I asked.

  “Let’s wait. I doubt she’ll speak to either of us right now,” Drake said as he looked at me. “Look, I know you don’t like me, and I sure as hell don’t like you, but let’s try to be civil with each other until this is sorted out. Once she chooses, we can go back to hating each other. I don’t want to upset her more than she already is.”

  “Fine with me,” I mumbled.

  We spent the next hour texting Chloe, but she didn’t respond to either of us. I started to worry, especially with her psychotic mother trying to contact her again.

  “Maybe I should go check on her,” I said as I stood and started walking to the door.

  “You’re not going over there without me. I don’t know what you’ll say to her. I’m coming with you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

  I ignored him as we walked back to the bar where our cars were parked. I climbed in and drove back to the dorm, refusing to think about anything. I would deal with everything when I was in my room by myself. If I thought about it now, I’d lose my mind and probably hit Drake again.

  I pulled into the dorm parking lot and shut off my car. I stared at the dorm in front of me, unable to move. I didn’t want to face Chloe right now. I loved her more than anything, but I also hated her at the moment. We’d finally found happiness, and she had gone and screwed it all up. If she had stayed away from Drake, we would still be together in her room right now.

  I opened my door when I saw Drake walking past my car. I followed as he walked into the dorm. I wasn’t about to let him see her alone either. I couldn’t handle that yet. We were both silent as we walked up the stairs and onto her floor. Once we reached the door, Drake knocked. A minute later, the door swung open, and Chloe was standing in front of us. Even though I was pissed, the mere sight of her took my breath away.

  She smiled as soon as she saw us. “Hey, guys! How are you?” She giggled. “Actually, never mind. You’re both pretty damn fine, like always.”

  She turned without another word and made her way back to her bed. She fell on top of it, and she glanced back at us, still smiling.

  “What the hell is wrong with her?” I mumbled to Drake as I stepped into the room. “Are you all right, Chloe?” I asked, my voice louder.

  “I’m great! I had a couple of shots, and now, I’m all set.” She smiled brightly at us. “What are you guys doing here? Wait, you’re together, and there’s no blood!”

  Both of us continued to stare at her.

  I glanced around the room to see a bottle of vodka on her nightstand. Shit, she’s drunk. That was what the warm welcome had been all about.

  I leaned down beside her bed and looked into her glassy eyes. “Just how many shots have you had, love?”

  “Only a couple.” She motioned to the bottle on the nightstand. “See? It’s still full. I just opened it tonight.”

  Drake glanced at the stand before looking back at her. “Uh…Chloe, the bottle is empty.”

  She stared at the bottle. Realizing that he was right, she slapped her hand across her face before laughing. “Whoops! Guess it’s a good thing it was the cheap stuff. Otherwise, I’d seriously be drunk right now.”

  Drake and I exchanged looks with each other, both of our expressions filled with concern. She was past drunk and moving into wasted.

  “Chloe, honey, you are drunk, excessively drunk actually,” I said as I watched her.

  She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, guys, I’m fine. Why are you here?”

  Drake spoke up from his spot in front of the bed, “Look, Chloe, you’re trashed, so I don’t think right now is a good time to talk, like Logan and I planned. We’ll come back tomorrow”—he glanced at the bottle again—“or the day after. I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to be up to any talking tomorrow.”

  “I said, I’m fine!” she grumbled as she sat up.

  Two seconds later, she grabbed the garbage can beside the bed and threw up violently into it. I jumped back a couple of feet as she continued to throw up. It seemed like hours had passed by before she was finished.

  Jesus. I’d never seen her like this.

  Finally, there seemed to be nothing left in her stomach, and she rolled back onto her bed, groaning. “Fuck. Maybe I am drunk.”

  Drake chuckled quietly. “No shit, Chloe.”

  She glared at him. “Just say what you came here to say, asshole.”

  “We came to tell you to decide who you want. Both of us want you, but who you want is what really matters. Whoever you don’t choose will back off, no questions asked.”

  She looked back and forth between us. “What if I want both of you?”

  And then, she passed out.

  Fuck.

  I couldn’t sleep at all that night. Instead, I tossed and turned as I replayed the last few months over and over again in my mind. I tried to figure out what I had done wrong to push Chloe away. From the beginning, I’d known that Drake was interested in her, but I’d ignored it. I’d thought that she was smart enough not to fall for the asshole who slept with every woman he saw. Of course, I hadn’t even considered the fact that he might actually care about her. I hadn’t thought he was capable of caring about a woman.

  I’d been overconfident and stupid. I’d thought that she was mine, and no one would take her away from me. We’d been through so much together. We’d been attached at the hip since I moved to West Virginia my freshman year. I’d stayed by her side through everything with her mom. When her mother, Andrea, had shown back up in Chloe’s life to torment her, I was the one she would always come to. I was the one who would help her clean her cuts when her mother had beaten her. I was the one who would beg her to go to the police. And I was the one who would understand her decision when she had refused. She had been afraid that she would be put into foster care and never see me or her other best friend, Amber, again.

  I was so angry with her, but I was hurt, too. I had trusted her completely, and she’d stabbed me in the back. The one person I’d thought would never hurt me was the one who had ripped my heart to pieces. Even if she chose me, I wasn’t sure that things could ever go back to the way they had been before. And if she chose Drake…I would walk away. I would cut ties with her and start over again. The thought of leaving her behind had me clenching my fists in anger. Drake was the reason that my entire life was falling apart, and I hat
ed the asshole with every fiber of my being.

  I finally fell asleep just as the sun was starting to rise.

  I hadn’t been asleep for more than an hour or two when I heard a knock on my door. I rolled out of bed and slowly walked to the door, terrified of who I would find on the other side. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to see anyone at this point.

  I opened the door to see Chloe standing in the hallway. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Despite the circumstances, I longed to reach out and comfort her. I pushed the thought away. Without a word, I turned back into the room and sat on my bed. Chloe walked in and closed the door behind her.

  I sighed before glancing up at her. “I lost, didn’t I?”

  She looked at the floor. “Not really. I’m so tired of hurting both of you, Logan. I love you both…just in different ways. I’m not choosing him, but I’m not choosing you either.”

  I tried to hide my emotions as I realized that I was losing her. It felt like someone had punched me in the chest. The pain I was feeling right now was unbearable.

  I rose and crossed the room to stand in front of her. “I understand, and I accept your decision.” It nearly killed me to say the words, but I forced them out.

  Tears started falling from her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I ruined everything we ever had. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, but I also lost my best friend in all of this mess.”

  I pulled her into a tight hug, unable to watch her suffer. “You haven’t lost me as a friend, Chloe, but I need some time before I can go back to the way things were. Just don’t give up on our friendship. I promise, I won’t leave you.”

  She hugged me back tightly. “I understand. Thanks, Logan.”

  She pulled away and made her way to the door. I watched as she opened it.

  “When you’re ready, you know where to find me,” she said before leaving me.

  I didn’t move for several minutes. Instead, I stood there and stared at the door, willing her to come back and tell me that she changed her mind, that she chose me. In my heart, I knew that she wouldn’t come back. I walked over to my bed and dropped down onto it. Once again, I wondered what I had done to end up like this. All my life, I’d tried to help people, and I’d been a good guy. And for what? So, I could watch the love of my life walk away from me.

  Unable to stay in my room any longer, I changed into a pair of jeans and a plain T-shirt. I grabbed my jacket and then my keys off the desk, and I headed for the door. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I needed to get out of this room.

  The hallway and stairs of my dorm building were nearly empty as I made my way outside. I walked to my car and pulled out of the parking lot. I drove around town, debating on where to go. I circled around until I was almost back at my dorm. Then, I saw the bar where Drake played—Gold’s Pub.

  What the hell? I might as well drown my sorrows. I pulled into the parking lot, and I looked around to make sure that I didn’t see Drake’s car. Once I knew he wasn’t at the bar, I stepped out of my car and walked inside.

  It was still early, and only a few people were around. I walked to the far side of the bar and sat down.

  Seconds later, the bartender appeared in front of me. “What can I get you, honey?” She smiled at me.

  “Whiskey,” I muttered.

  “Coming right up.” She turned and walked farther down the bar to grab a bottle. She returned with Jack Daniel’s and a shot glass.

  I watched as she poured the shot and handed it to me.

  “Leave the bottle,” I said after I took the shot.

  She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. I poured myself another shot as she moved away to wait on someone else. All I wanted to do was get wasted. Then, maybe I could forget how much of a shitfest my life really was.

  “Logan?” a voice asked from behind me.

  I turned to see the drummer of Drake’s band standing there. “Hey, Jade.”

  “Want some company?” she asked.

  “Sure. Why not?”

  She sat down beside me and motioned for the bartender to bring over another shot glass.

  “So, how are things?” she asked as she poured herself a shot.

  “Wonderful. My girlfriend cheated on me with a guy who has slept with half of Morgantown. I couldn’t be happier.”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Logan.”

  “You have no reason to be sorry. You didn’t cheat on me.”

  “I know. I just feel bad for what happened to you. If it makes you feel any better, I know Chloe and Drake never meant for this to happen. They both tried to stay away from each other.”

  I snorted. “Right. I’m sure they did.”

  She glanced over at me as I poured another shot.

  “They did. I know you don’t like Drake, but I’ve been friends with him for a long time. He’s a good guy. If he didn’t love Chloe, he never would have gotten between the two of you. And I know Chloe cares a lot about you. She never wanted to hurt you.”

  “Then, she should have been honest with me!” I shouted as I slammed the shot glass down on the bar. “That’s all she had to do. Instead, she kept things from me, and look where we are now.”

  “I know. I’m not trying to defend them, honest. What they did to you was wrong, and now, all three of you are paying the price. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I know it all seems really screwed-up right now.” She stood and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Call me if you need someone to talk to, okay?”

  I nodded, not bothering to look up at her. I didn’t need anyone.

  I spent the next few days avoiding everyone. I couldn’t stomach the pity in their eyes or their comforting words. I even avoided Amber until she got pissed off enough to beat my damn door down and demand an explanation. After I told her what happened, she went on a rampage and declared Chloe enemy number one. I told her to be nice. While I was angry with Chloe, I didn’t want to tear her and Amber apart. She wasn’t happy, but she agreed not to go beat the crap out of Chloe on my behalf. I considered that a victory. Amber wasn’t one to hide her feelings.

  Jade showed up at my door one night with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and two shot glasses. I almost closed the door in her face, but she pushed through before I could stop her. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

  “What do you want, Jade?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes. I was exhausted, and my bed was calling my name.

  “I know what you’re doing, and I’m not going to let you do it,” she stated as she dropped down into the chair next to my desk. She set the Jack Daniel’s and shot glasses on the top of the desk.

  “What am I doing?”

  “Avoiding everyone and hiding.”

  “I am not,” I muttered as I closed my door.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “So, what if I am? Maybe I don’t want to deal with people right now.”

  “That’s fine. You don’t have to deal with people, just me.” She poured a shot and handed it to me. “Drink up.”

  “What are you really doing here, Jade?” I asked as I took the glass.

  She poured a shot for herself. “I’m keeping you company. I don’t want you to sit up here by yourself and mope. It isn’t healthy.”

  “And getting drunk with someone I barely know is better?” I countered.

  She laughed. “Good point, but I’m still not leaving. I don’t want you to be alone.”

  “Why do you even care?” I gulped down my shot and handed the glass back to her.

  She hesitated for a minute. “I don’t know, but I do, so you’re stuck with me. I’m going to cheer you up.”

  I laughed. “There’s nothing you can do to cheer me up.”

  “Then, we’ll sit here and stare at each other until you decide being miserable isn’t worth it.”

  I sighed as she poured another shot and handed it to me. “Fine. Stay. Stare at me. I don’t care.”

  We were both silent as we each took two more shots of whiskey. I s
at down on my bed and waited for her to say something again. I knew next to nothing about Jade. The only thing I did know about her was the fact that she played drums in Drake’s band.

  Drake. Even his name pissed me off at this point. I forced myself not to think about him before I started shouting obscenities while Jade was around. It wasn’t her fault that her friend was a girlfriend-stealing asshole.

  “So…tell me about yourself, Logan,” Jade finally said.

  I looked up at her and grinned. “Really? You want to get to know each other?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. Why not? You could use a friend. I can be that friend, but I’d like to know more about you.”

  “More? What do you already know?”

  She gave me a weak smile. “Well, let’s see. I know you like Jack Daniel’s. I also know you’re from Charleston since Chloe told me you went to high school together. You work at a garage…and you have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. That’s about it.”

  “It’s like you can see into my soul,” I joked, ignoring the comment about my eyes.

  I wasn’t stupid. Jade hung out with Adam, Eric, and Drake. There was no way that I could compete with those guys. Rockers were more her speed, not some country kid like me. I looked up to see her watching me closely. She really was pretty. I’d never noticed before because I was with Chloe.

  Comparing the two was laughable. Two girls couldn’t be more different. Where Chloe was all light with her pale skin, blonde hair, and light blue eyes, Jade was all dark. I’d seen a few different colors in her hair, but right now, it was black with pink streaks. Her eyes were a warm chocolate, and her skin was tan. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t see any visible tattoos on her body, unlike the other members of her band. She had a small stud in her nose, but she didn’t have any other piercings, not even in her ears.

  “You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?” she finally asked.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Anything you want to tell me.” She smiled.

  “Fine. Let’s see. I moved around with my mom for most of my childhood. By the time I was fourteen, we’d lived in sixteen different states. She finally settled down in Charleston, but I don’t know why. I didn’t ask. I was just glad to be in one place for more than a few months. I don’t know much about my dad besides the fact that she kept moving to avoid him. I think she was scared of him.”